Making the Press Cut in Hollywood!!

My coverage at the Writers Guild Awards at the world famous Beverly Hilton hotel can be summed up in one word, unprepared. I did not spend any extra time researching the movies or questions I would like to have asked Jeff Goldblum or James Woods, but that was not the type of preparation I am talking about, I am talking about preparing for the cutthroat Sleaze glutted bottomless pit of backstabbing, muscling and all out trench warfare for the sake of making movies. To be fair and honest, the writers might be a toned down bunch, but make no mistake they will claw out your eyeball and dice your liver just for the sake of getting better footing.

These long boring awards are like snakes waiting for you to lose your magic touch as you sit through the torture of endless categories. It was not supposed to be like this, I was supposed to sneak in the back door through the waiters entrance but once again, I was not prepared. When a nice enough waiter said that he would give me his pass, I assumed he would actually hand it to me. I could have walked right into the action, gotten the scoop on the story, but not this time, I followed him to his station where they all looked at me like I had not done my homework. Instead of sneaking past the chef yelling at the cooks into the action, I sat in rear trenches waiting for the snake creep over me.

 I did got a pretty nice shot of Oliver Stone and James Woods, and talked world politics with Richard Curtis but that was no consolation to seeing what the real Hollywood looks like on the inside.

The evening got off to a good start. A Paparazzi type photographer yelled at me for getting in the way of some up and coming, and I kicked her stand from under her, I managed to get good position on  the red carpet. Completely unprepared and with no inspiration to put on a interview face with the celebrities I finagle myself through to the cocktail party where serious Hollywood business was being discussed. I wrestled myself to the corner of the room, but the smokescreen was in full effect, I could not get a good enough picture of what was happening. I sidled myself up with some young fellow pressmen who wanted nothing to do with me so I walked around to the back corner. I could feel the attention int he room shifting towards me, but I kept looking to see if any Lizards, Sharks, or outright Hollywood Brutes would making their presence known. I spotted one, but that was the brunt of it. This was to be a stand up awards ceremony and if I wanted to get the real story I would have to break into the confines of the Ballroom Sanctuary.  Following back and forth to the red carpet and the party I spotting Jeff Daniels. He tried to drop the weights on my neck. I caught him in the act however and nailed him.

Once the awards were beginning and they would not let the Press inside, I began to plead my case to one of the stewards in the restroom, but like I said before I did not take the bait.

The rest of the evening was spent back and forth between Speeches, a nice conversation with Richard Curtis, and getting caught sleeping by Fred Armisen who managed to side-stab me.

Curtis talked how makes the UN easy to understand for the average Joe. The hardworking advertiser for the United Nations luring unsuspecting college students to a life in the Peace Corps and possibly Malaria. Though he claims to be a hard worker, so I am not sure if they got him sold on the world government thing or if he's in league with them.

Oliver Stone gave a great acceptance Speech, though before, he blew past the red carpet and after, fled the reporters following his acceptance. He talked about how he has gotten his "ass-kicked" for standing up for what he believes in and working toward change. His recent series on America's History  lay heavily into the current establishment and I am sure people inside and out of Hollywood have become sworn enemies to him.  Regardless, he has stood his ground and that is something to be admired. Very few people can get movies, much less documentaries made without compromising some sort of value system. I think Stone's position remains sincere.  Stone is able to get his point across and motivate and inspire people as he tells his stories. Hopefully the next chapter of films and filmmakers that focus on change will have the same luster and passion.

Fred Armisen Stabbed me. He is a spoiled child who milks his "talent" and stops at a glass ceiling. He is bitter, and because the press and the taletn are in the same boat, he feels like he can lay into whoever he want, whenever he wants. He was lucky that I was tired adn half asleep, otherwise I would have made and example of him. He comes from those class of people at the Saturday night live show who nested in the Service Sector, and never went much further.

The night ended with the big award. The Writer/Director/Producer/Talent of Moonlight got it. All newly christened writers one step away form being the new darlings of Hollywood. The show ended, and the big celebrities shoved off, while the newly awarded writers held  statues in the lobby.

The writers were free to y take the entire evening to their credit. I was not about to issue an all night tirade, thank to the Snake.

Randall Park from Fresh off the Boat and Veep.

Jeff Goldblum Slithering through the Red Carpet

Oliver Stone and James Woods following Stone's acceptance speech.